Let's get a few things straight right off the rip. Just because you failed, doesn't mean you're a "failure". That's not how life works. Nobody, absolutely nobody, is perfect.
Do you understand, friend?
One more time: nobody. (Hugs.)
Second, life is sneaky. Often, when we feel like we're failing, we're actually learning how to do things better so we can win later. This takes time to adjust to... and remember.
Third, you only fail if you quit: if you just stop. NOT if you take a break, adapt, look for a new way, a better way, or another way. This is NOT failing. You ONLY fail if you give up on things you know you are right. And, when that happens, you live with it... but it still doesn't mean things are hopeless. You can still reconcile it!
So, let's talk shall we?
Not about test scores, scoreboards, points or personal bests. All that is data and just because you win on a scoreboard doesn't mean you're a winner at life. How many times have we seen the champion athlete eventually exposed or disgraced? The celebrity? The CEO?
Data is nice, but let's talk about why you're failing as a human being.
1. You're weak. Somehow, being "weak" became a bad word. Everyone and everything has a weakness. Identifying your weakness(es) is not a shameful enterprise, it is an exercise in strength, self-awareness, and vulnerability. If you cannot identify your weaknesses, ego might be your weakness, or narcissism, or lack of the introspection that stillness, faith, philosophy, meditation, or therapy can bring.
To be a better version of yourself you must understand yourself. Embrace your weakness my friend. Doing so makes you a better, healthier, happier, stronger person.
2. You're playing the wrong game. Why are you doing what you do? NOT the reasons other people tell you you're playing the game or working in the system, but YOU. What are YOUR reasons for being here? Most people cannot answer this question, and even when they can, they have trouble putting their knowledge into practice.
When you play your own game, you win or lose according to what makes YOU happy. However, we need to be clear...
Are there rules? Yes, of course. You must play by policy and procedure in a legal way. We are not necessarily talking about making up your own rules or casting aside the rules that everyone else must play by. We are taking about understanding why you embrace the rules, why you show up, what you want out of the work for yourself.
Data's just numbers. How you interpret the data is up to you. (And, keep in mind, data can always be recorded incorrectly or interpreted in a faulty way...)
3. You're lost. You have no idea what you want or where you are. What of it? Do you seriously think you'll be lost forever? Not so! Pause. Take a deep breath. Look around.
What is the next most intelligent thing to do that preserves happiness, strength, possibility, and LIFE? Do it.
Or, ask yourself, what is the positive thing I need to do that is scaring me the most? Do it.
You matter! You matter to a lot of people you don't even know about or might not have met yet! You're important! Stay in the hunt!
You're not lost. You simply made some moves in the wrong direction or haven't made any moves at all in awhile. Big deal! Welcome to the club! Admit the wrong turns (or the no turns), stand up tall and get to fixing it. Make a move!
4. You're comparing. You're not anybody else but you. Nobody has your upbringing, your genes, your body, your mind, your hopes, your dreams, your challenges, or your burdens. Compare yourself to others to find inspiration, not dissatisfaction. You are you. There is no one else in the entire Universe like you. Understand this!
5. You're ungrateful. You might not have all the best things, but you have a ton of things going for you if you remember where to look. Gratitude is a practice, a philosophy, a mental, physical, and spiritual state. You find it in living your life, not scrolling through other people's lives. Look around. Take the scales from your eyes. Unplug from The Matrix. You have a beautiful life. It can become even more robust if you want it to be. You're the one!
You will fail in life, that doesn't mean you're a failure at life. Get up! Let's go! There is winning to be done! I love you. Hugs.