I used to crush people with my words, or even my fists, when I felt my fragile self-esteem was threatened. I was young, terrified, and stupid.
Years and years later I discovered that my fear and anger were born from the fact that I had no love for myself. I was my greatest enemy, my biggest obstacle. (Ouch!)
My heart is filled with love these days. The road was long, winding, and can still be quite a struggle at times. The journey is never done until the last breath is breathed.
I am often "accused" of being positive now. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but these "accusations" make me smile. I don't mind them.
However, for the sake of clarity, let's clear up what "being positive" means, according to me. (Totally cool, if you feel it means something different.)
Being positive means I prepare my body, my mind and my Spirit every day to meet death on my terms. You can die angry or happy, sad or strong, afraid or bold. You are going to die, and you have no idea when that day will be. You must develop a soul and Spirit you can be proud of.
Being positive means I practice self-awareness and situational awareness always. I study myself. I look where I should (and should not) step. I do this each day, all day long. I train my body and my mind to be open, ready, and, if a physical battle is unavoidable, to win. This gives me self-esteem, confidence, and the ability to avoid most irrelevant, silly, wicked, or dangerous things.
Being positive means I keep my focus within my span control. What can I have an actionable positive effect on in my life? This always starts with my attitude and my actions. If something cannot be changed, I can change my mind about how I perceive it.
Being positive means I keep things in perspective. My job as a firefighter puts me in front of death and disease every shift. This is a great burden and a great gift: because of it, I have realized that most of the things I used to complain about are completely unimportant... and never were important.
Being positive means I am a person of faith, and a person of action. I don't ask for things, I work for things. I trust in the great Creator that, as we respect what we have been given, what has been given will respect us. I know in my heart that I am free and taken care of. There is great satisfaction, peace and empowerment with this knowledge.
Being positive means I am full of gratitude... and I know the work will never be done. There is no finish line. Enjoy the present. Design your life. Train your body and your mind to trust in themselves and believe in abundance.
Being positive means I accept that I will have bad days. Hardship is part of (and necessary for) Growth. So be it. Bad days will not last forever. Neither will good days. It's just life.
Being positive means that my family and the strength of my relationships with others and with myself, are what gives me hope, purpose, unity, light, reflection, truth, love, courage, and fortitude when I get lost.
That is what being positive means to me. And maybe that clarifies, or gives you insight, to what being positive means to you.
Being positive is not about "unicorns and rainbows"... but it's amazing what you can see when you open your eyes all the way. Hugs.