The Dirty Secret Of Self-Help Books


Self-help books do not help you. Only you help you, that is why it is called self-help.


Bear with me a moment.


I have read an expansive amount of self-help books. Reading them can be addictive. It feels like you are doing something for your Self while you are reading them. That's a very nice a thing.


Some, probably well-intentioned, author put together a list of ways you can get better at a certain thing. That's also a very nice thing.


How you interpret the lessons in the book and what you do, or do not do, with the information in the book is wholly up to you. No one is responsible for the adult you but you!


The only way a self-help book actually helps you is if you put what you have read into your daily actions. Otherwise, you simply read a book. Which is good, but not great.


What you will learn as you go is that you have all the answers for yourself. This kind of responsibility will feel heavy at first. However, once you learn how to hold the weight, you will become free.


Authors, coaches, mentors, friends, family can all help you unstick yourself with their expertise, suggestions, and advice; but, once you own your actions, you realize your life is wholly formed by what you believe and what you are willing to work for/act on.


By all means ask questions, learn from others, and read self-help books. (It would be silly and arrogant if you did not!)


But remember this: the only person that can actually help you get better is you. You must decide what to do. Not deciding is also a choice.


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