Updated: Aug 5, 2019
There are three phrases that cripple a person's spirit. They are often phrases that we whisper plainly to ourselves, unaware of their insidious design and heavy-handed nature.
These phrases are self-induced, which means when we courageously acknowledge them and painfully uproot them we can set ourselves up marvelously for the next phase of our lives.
But we must be self-aware and once we identify our inefficient habit, we must re-commit to ourselves with love, not vengeance. Your joy is at stake and anger or inaction does nothing but waste more time and cloud the true Way forward.
Forgive yourself and move on.
What phrases cripple us? These:
"I wish" or it's cousin "If only..."
Let's look at them quickly and, more importantly, identify the adjustments that we can make to change our entire world for the better.
1. Yes, but... This is when you agree with whatever is being said, but you really don't. (See how that works?) It is a passive-aggressive way to continue trying to remove ownership for issues from yourself. Nobody is saying what happened to you is your fault. What you DO about what happened to you IS your fault. When will you take ownership for where you are at in your life? Because once you do, you can PROGRESS!
"Yes, but..." is a lie. It is you maintaining your victim-status. Your "but" does its best to excuse you from your responsibility to yourself. LIES! As an adult you ARE responsible for your path, your truth, your mind, your spirit and your happiness. Not religion, not circumstances, not the president, or your boss, or your spouse, or social media, or your parents. YOU!
What's the medicine? "Yes, and (insert what YOU will do to solve the problem)." Yes, and...
2. I can't. You're right. If that's what you believe, then that is the way it will be. It is that simple. "I can't" means you quit and quitting means you get nothing. "I can't" is the only true path to failure. It is acknowledging that you are done. To be honest, there's nothing wrong with "I can't" unless you are using it in regards to something you want to achieve but have lost sight of HOW to achieve.
What's the medicine? Perspective. Perspective gives us depth and expansion. Study different tactics. A WHY. Why are you doing this? Why do you care? Grit. You want something worthwhile? You have to earn it. If you earn it, nobody can ever take it from you. If you buy it, hack it, cheat it, fake it, or try to subvert it, it will crumble in your hands.
"I can't yet and that's okay, because I'm coming for it, my friend. Watch me."
3. "I wish" or "If only". Hope is not a strategy and while there is a place for dreaming, work is what creates your destiny. Do more with less! Become an essentialist. Pride yourself on your ability to do big things with seemingly little equipment, gear, money, time, etc. Anything else is wasting time. Focus on what you have and do the best you can with what you have where you are. There is no hack for this, there is only work. So get to it.
What's the medicine? Prioritize. What's the most important thing? Work on it until it is done. Then move on to the next thing. You are capable of so much more than you think when you find the essence of the problem and then direct all your ability into finding a solution.
Do that and, eventually, your wishes will come true. Hugs.